For the past few weeks I have been getting coaching from Tina at Open Roads Coaching. Yes, sometime coaches need coaches. She has been great and i needed some help. I was stuck and couldn’t do for myself the things I could for others.
There have been ‘Well, Duh” moments and “Oh Yeah” and “Ah Ha” moments. So good.
I realized how ridiculous I was allowing myself to be about somethings. I knew they were not helpful, but I let myself think it anyway. I knew I was sabotaging myself and did nothing to stop it.
I wasn’t making the products I wanted to make because I was so focused on what I couldn’t do because of tech and equipment. I wanted to make everything big, cuz bigger is better right? It isn’t always better. It was an excuse I used to not have to do anything. I knew it was just an excuse.
I need to learn to work with what I have and get things done. I can make smaller simpler products. They can get bigger later when I have to tools to for it.
There is no real reason why I shouldn’t be making these things now.
I have an obsession with word count. I don’t know if other writers have this problem. I’m also always starting new stories before I’ve finished the last one. This leads to no stories really getting done. I’m always trying to jack up the word count.
I’ve gotten it into my head that a story has to have a minimum of words before it can be done, regardless of whether or not it has reached a conclusion. This morning when I sat down to write for the day, I realized why I was so obsessed with word count.
The stories always need more, as in I have a fear that they are not enough. They aren’t good enough, detailed enough, exciting enough, or interesting enough.
I know that having a certain number of words isn’t the reason a story is good or not. I was using word count to hide my fear.
What am I going to do about this fear?
I’m going to write until whatever story I’m working reaches the end regardless of what the word count is and I’m going to remember that first drafts are suppose to suck and know that I’m doing it right.
Sounds cool, right?
Tina has also been helping to see how all my sites and biz things work together. She could see it, but I couldn’t. Everything felt so separated and spread out. I felt like I was being pulled in too many different directions. It was not good and everything suffered for it.
Things weren’t really clicking into place for me until I read Tori’s post on how she got the circus metaphor for her business. The whole metaphor idea was really inspiring and I knew I wanted one too. It makes business so much more fun and inspiring.
I love Tori’s circus and Havi’ pirates. I had even been thinking about how creative rebels were like pirates, but that theme wasn’t quite right for the rebellion. I got to thinking about the things I love and want to share and about where the faeries fit into everything.
Then it hit me like a 2×4.
All those things swirled around in a big cauldron make this delicious brew that is all Alice in Wonderland + Faery Realms with a dash of paranormal.
Everything I make and enjoy falls into place. The rebellion, studio and the soap biz all fit together. Holy shit, I have direction and feel like I could plan things.
If I want to post about vampires one day and gnomes the next it is ok. I don’t have to not do something I want to cuz it doesn’t seem to fit here.
I have been avoiding posting about whether or not vampires would survive a zombie apocalypse because it didnt’ seem to belong here (even though that topic is one of my highest ranking keyword things according to google).
I was letting the way other coaches run their businesses influence how I should be running mine. I’m a bad bad girl.
If I want to reach my goals and live the life I want, I’m going to have to be more firm with myself.
Man, do I have a lot of work to do.
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